My Boss Is A Bully

Published October 10, 2013 by sadistickitten

I was working @ a place for 2 months, I won’t say the place nor my former boss because I would rather keep that between me and them.  Where I was working, we were doing temps stuff we started in late August and was to finish some time next month November some time.  I was learning a lot and there was a lot to learn, everything was pretty much new to me because I had never really worked in an office setting before.  Plus, the software that we had to learn was a bit confusing especially when there was program, computer, etc errors all the time.  Making it harder to focus on your work and do a good job.

I was doing well for 2 months, I got stuff and was getting stuff faster and faster all the time.  Also with few errors and mistakes which is always a plus.  Anyway, last week I was at work and there was an issue that came up.  My boss came up to me and asked about it, I had shared the work with another girl because it was rather large (I realize trying to be anonymous makes it confusing for you but you will get the gist) job to do.  She did 1 part meanwhile I did the rest.  That job was done and I was working on another job entirely when my boss comes up to me asking me about that other job.  After awhile, all job start to sound the same and how can you remember a name or a person from another person?  But you do your best!

She was concerned about that job that I split with another girl because there was a mistake that was made.  I told her about how I split it with this girl (lets call her Sarah) Sarah (please keep in mind my boss gave part of the job to another girl not my doing nor was it me who should have been talked to about it), that I couldn’t have made a mistake because the other girl’s desk isn’t even close to mine so how could her stuff get into my stuff and vice verse.  Makes sense doesn’t it?  Well at least to a normal person you would be like “yes that does make sense sadistickitten, how could she make that mistake about where things were and how they ended up.  But, my boss doesn’t think logically she thinks x person did this so x person is of course the person responsible.  Yeah logical thinking on her part, I mean after all even if its someone else’s fault just because I am the one who had means that it was my fault..I mean of course it was.

All the part of the job that “I” messed up was with Sarah, so how could I mess it up in the first place?  If she’s got that part of the job how could I have even done something wrong with that?  But since part of my job that I was doing was messed up, I get blamed all because the people who put this job together accidentally put part of the other job that was given to Sarah inside my part of the job.  But instead of my boss yelling at the person who messed up putting part of job 1 inside my part, she yells at me because I’m the one who had set 1 in the first place.  Now a normal logical thinking person would realize that I could not mess up with this job because I have part 1 NOT part 2.  Part 2 was with Sarah the whole time so how could I even get any of her part in my part of the job?  I apologize if you’re confused on this, its just that I don’t want to say the exact problem with this because then you’ll know where I work & who these people are.  Ok maybe not who these people are but at least where I worked.  My boss was extremely rude and very mean saying “Thanks you to sadistickittens (not saying my real name either) and your mistake now Bob (let’s call him that because his real name is also being withheld) is behind on his work, having to fix YOUR mistake and he’s not happy about it.  Now you’ve made him work twice as hard to get his job done as well as YOURS! Thanks to you, now people have to go around fixing your mistakes instead of doing their job that they were hired for.”

Ouch, that was way harsh wasn’t it?!  I get that my boss is stressed out and that she is upset over this issue (they are apparently friends with this Bob guy) but for my boss to take their stress out on me, well that’s just inexcusable.  The thing is, they know that we’re going to screw up because we are temps.  We were hired for a seasonal job where we are there from August till November doing this job then we’re done and we go back to our normal lives.  Looking for another job that’s more permanent.  On our first day, they told us that they hired 2 extra people this season to help out and make sure that we don’t make terrible mistakes.  Because they want to make sure that things aren’t messed up so badly and that people get what they ordered.  For my boss to say that to me, well that’s just very low and totally rude.  They moved from another place and most people (they pay shit by the way, its why most people didn’t come back because they didn’t want to drive all the way & it wouldn’t have been worth the gas $) didn’t want to drive there so they didn’t come back this year.  Either that or they didn’t want to work with my boss because they didn’t like how they were being treated by this person, instead of saying how mean they are these other people who worked at the old place might have just not come back because they think my boss is a bitch or mean for their attitude towards people.

Now to be fair, there was another girl lets call her Alice was being treated negatively too and talked kind of harsh to but not nearly as harsh as I was being treated.  However, when my boss talked to the other girls that were hired (all women, sexist? Yeah you could say that!) the tone of voice was completely different, example “Hi Jessica, I noticed there was a mistake that you made.  Can you please not do that next time.” Or when a girl forgot to pick up her papers from the printer (I say forget but she did it on purpose because she was too lazy, and to make matters worse this girl sits NEXT to the printer. She was waiting for another person to give them to her. Wow really?!) I heard “make sure to pick up your papers next from the printer and put them with your job.” Um wtf?!  If that was me, this is how the conversation would go “SADISTICKITTENS, HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU TO PICK UP YOUR PAPERS AND PUT THEM WITH YOUR JOBS BEFORE YOU HAND IN YOUR WORK TO ME?” Not kidding either, my boss did this to me a few times before.  In that rude obnoxious voice of theirs and wasn’t any means nice nor quiet about it.

I’m not saying that I didn’t make mistakes while working there, because believe I know that I did.  But I was a temp, temps aren’t really expected to be the best in the world because they’re only hired for a short period of time.  But I was learning new software, working in an office setting for the first time, learning new things about this type of job, etc. so yeah of course I made mistakes.  But not the types of mistakes that I was getting blamed for.  Because the mistake that my boss said that I made, doesn’t make any sense and it was done by someone who finished the job in another section and it was brought to us.  Instead of them just leaving the job out of the set it was in, they decided to stick it in and just make it work.  Which is how I got into so much trouble.

This wasn’t the first time that I got into trouble with my boss and it wasn’t the last either.  My boss would get mad at me and talk pretty loudly (compared to how quiet and softly they would talk with the other girls. Oh please note, all our desks were side by side in the shape of a U so if I sneezed or if someone talked above a light whisper the whole part of our office would hear you like they were talking to that person) to me in front of everyone else.  I left early that day because I was afraid after her being very rude about comments and pointing out my “mistake” that I was going to say or do something that we would both regret.  OK probably just me because my boss doesn’t have brain function to figure out that way of behaving isn’t what you do nor is it good office etiquette.  I figured it was best not to say anything and just walk away instead of say something that I would end up being fired for or going to jail for.  I was that angry! I did talk with Sarah later on our break about the job, asking her if she did the job with me.  She said yes she remembered and that of course I couldn’t make that mistake because she had that part of the job. Ha, proof right there! Once again, not my fault in the first place! This is where the issue should have dropped.

I come in on the next day, talk with Sarah about the issue and find out that after I left my boss talked with a higher up Mary (once again a fake name) about the job.  Sarah had told me that Mary & my boss talked it over saying that (OK my boss is getting confusing let’s call Nina) of course I couldn’t have made the mistake because Sarah had the 2nd part of the job meanwhile I had the 1st.  Besides, if I was to accidentally take part of her job wouldn’t I take the first part not the last part of it?!  Which is what happened (once again, another person’s fault not me).  Sarah made me feel better when she said that because that night after the whole incident, I didn’t get much sleep at all.  I just kept replaying it over and over in my head.  With my boss, Nina yelled at me telling me how much of an idiot I was and how could I screw up something so simple like that.  It was horrible and I felt like crap till Sarah told me it was OK.

Well…it wasn’t!  When we got in, there was another problem/issue (not at the moment we came in but within the first hour of work) with a job that I had done the day before.  Please keep in mind that after she yelled at me, it was effecting my ability to work.  I was double, triple checking my work to make sure that I did everything so that way I couldn’t get yelled at anymore nor treated in such a manner.  But when you feel like you’ve been treated poorly, yelled at for something you didn’t do and your boss making you feel guilty over someone else having to fix another person’s wrong but blaming it all on you, well how can you do a good job and do it well?  You can’t, it plays with your brain and your ability to do your job well.  Again, Nina (my boss) comes up to me being extremely rude again, telling me about a mistake that I had made from yesterday.  Mind you, I’m not the only person who makes mistakes, just the only person that Nina tells about their mistakes loud enough for the whole part of our office to hear.  Then to just rub it in, she brings up ONCE again my “mistake” from the day before when I thought that issue was over and done with.  Are you kidding me?!  Wtf?  How rude can she get? I let it go again because she only brought it up once and I just didn’t have the mental ability not getting much sleep to deal with this any longer.  I just wanted her to drop it and move on, after all its over and done with.  Who gives  a fuck! Not something that I say to her of course but its something that I think.

I’m not good with bullies, I never really was.  It took me years in school to get up enough confidence to stand up to them and tell them to stfu.  But what’s harder is that this is MY BOSS!  How do you say something to her to get her to stfu?  You can’t, she’s your boss after all that’s where it gets kind of sticky.  Plus, I’m just not the type of person who can defend herself when someone else is attacking me.  Her tone, words, actions were very mean that day and it was in front of everyone in the whole office part.  I was embarrassed, ashamed and nervous.  I hate being treated poorly, especially when something wasn’t even my fault.  I was deprived of sleep so I wasn’t totally thinking clearly.  Plus, I’m not a morning person so this was hitting me super hard!  It was like a smack in the face but with words.  Words are harsher, they hurt and they last longer than any bruise on your body will.

Now its Friday, I came in feeling blah still because I haven’t exactly been sleeping well and I’m still stressed out over the past few days.  Hoping since its Friday maybe I’ll get a break, maybe she’ll start in on someone else (not nice I know but I was sick of getting treated this way).  When she first came in, I heard from another person in another part of the office (its a big office, our section is rather small in comparison) when they asked Nina “how is your morning?” Nina replied with “not good, its been a horrible morning.” Oh crap!  That’s when my anxiety kicks in and I start freaking out!  Oh no, I’m going to get my ass handed to me today and yelled at like you wouldn’t believe.  I was dreading her coming into our section and was having a panic attack!  I had a hard time breaking, my stomach started to feel sick, my throat went dry, and I was breathing in very fast.  She sits down at her desk (which is 1 desk over from mine) & starts in on me!  She tells me that once again my mistakes that I’m making are costing the company thousands of dollars to fix and when I come out with a lame excuse (you try to come up with something when you’re panicking) when she asks me why I made them, I say “I forgot”.  Not true at all, I did do what she asked me to but I had already done another job like this one so I knew it was because SHE gave me the wrong information.  Not because I did something wrong, it was because she made the mistake of telling me the wrong information.  But my boss doesn’t make ANY mistakes, no she’s a perfect person.

Then she brings up the whole thing that wasn’t my fault at all that happened on Wednesday!  Yeah she brought up the crap about how I messed up on a job because of the part was put in wrong. Huh?  What? Wait, so not only did SHE fuck on this but now its MY fault again for the problem that someone else messed up?!  Why does she keep bringing up that job?!  Its been 2 days and it should be over and done with.  But no, she brings it up again and this time, instead of saying it sort of loudly in front of my desk no..she’s saying it TO EVERYONE!  So everyone in our part of the office can hear (pretty sure others in another section of the office can hear because she’s not exactly quiet about it either), making me look like a total idiot.  She basically says I’m some stupid moron whom she can’t believe can even figure out how to get out of bed let alone do stuff here.  Yeah nice one huh?  Great, embarrassment in front of everyone AND talk about shit that’s not even true?!  Hey, I could her job and do it SO much better than she could.  She’s terrible at stress management, she thinks the best way to deal with stress is take a million breaks to smoke.  Yes because that’s a good way to deal with your problems, run from them!  Oh and yell at your employees, but make sure to pick just that “special” (meaning one that you can treat as the retard) someone to berate in front of your entire staff.  Because of course, didn’t you know that’s the correct way to deal with stress.

She also has terrible work etiquette, she told us NOT to wear ripped jeans yet she wears them ALL the time!!!  She also dresses like her 20 daughter.  Just because you can fit into your daughter’s ripped jeans doesn’t you should!  You’re working in an office, sure one that lets your wear yoga & sweatpants but that’s no reason to wear ripped jeans when we’re told not to!  Had I worn ANY ripped jeans, then I’d be yelled at faster then you can blink!  Even if it wasn’t my fault, if it happened while I was getting into work or happened when I walked by something and it go caught.  I’d get told to go home and come back tomorrow without those jeans.  I know this, just by how she didn’t care and wore them anyway!  Of course, she’s also a bad example because she wears her daughters’ everything!  Just because you can squeeze your ass into your daughters’ t shirts doesn’t you should!  That’s just wrong!  Especially, when she’s in her late 40 (she looks older than that, maybe its all the cigs)!  I can see if you are in your 30’s wearing some junior clothing because they don’t make anything for 30’s women.  They make juniors then they go to women.  Now most women clothes look like clothes my mom would wear. Um no thank you! My mom’s in her 60s, but she looks like she’s in her early 40’s. But I still don’t want to wear those ugly ass clothes that my mom wears, sorry mom but they’re not my style.

Later on Friday, she ended up yelling at me again for another issue.  Once again, how am I not gonna make mistakes when she keeps yelling at me about things?  Not just yelling at me but blaming for things?  I just don’t see how a person could not mess up when you are being treated so poorly.  Of course your work is going to get effected by it.  Its just common sense, and after it had been going on for days now.  I did notify her boss lets call her Emily and talked with her on Friday about the whole thing.  I was crying at the time (which I did a lot of during Friday even after work when I got home) saying what happened and how Nina was treating me.  Emily told me she’d talk to Nina but wasn’t going point out it was about me, however how else wouldn’t Nina know I was the one whom Emily was talking about.  But that just seemed to piss of Nina more because she didn’t stop with her rudeness all day. I even tried to make Nina like me by trying to be interested in her hobbies, her likes, things that she talking about but that didn’t stop her from being rude to me.  When it was time to leave, I said goodbye to everyone (not realizing it was the last time because I needed time to think about quitting) and told them all to have a good weekend.  My boss Nina says “goodbye” which everyone else she said “have a good weekend” that bitch!  I can’t believe it!  Funny thing, she did act like my mom at work.  My mom puts me down & treats me poorly too, she’s always like “your sister this or that” when I go say stuff about certain things my mom puts me down. For instance, my mom did say “well you could lose some weight” which is rude for one but for another my mom’s not skinny by any means.  She’s always been big as long as I’ve known her & see pictures of her.  So yeah I’m used to rudeness from my family but not from my boss.

Here’s where it hits home…9 yrs ago a girl named Nina at a former work was making fun of me.  Calling me names (whore, slut, fatty), putting me down, treating me like crap and being completely rude.  However this Nina, wasn’t my boss she was an equal like me.  She was calling me names like slut, whore, bitch and she this in front of other fellow coworkers, and other customers!  When I brought it up to my bosses (I had 3 of them yeah I know confusing much?), they ignored it and acted as if it was normal for a person to get bullied at work.  As if what she was doing was FINE!  Sorry but ANY type of bullying is wrong, whether its your boss or your fellow coworkers.  Had I known back then that where I was had a law against workplace bullying I could have taken them to court over it or at least Nina who was making her comments.

Right now, of course I’m not OK mentally.  I’m still pretty fucked up and its only been since Friday.  OK really Monday because that’s when I wrote my letter of resignation to Emily about the issue.  I got a response back from another person at the company saying sorry about the issue that I had but they wished me luck.  I have no clue if they are doing ANYTHING to fix this problem or they are just doing like my old work place by putting it under the rug.  Have a feeling its the last thing.  I did contact tonight a lawyer to find out if I’m in my legal rights of pursuing this matter, not sure what those rights are but they specialize in this so I’m sure they will let me know.  Considering I quit, didn’t get fired I’m not sure that I have any legal rights anymore.  Considering that this has been the only job that I’ve had in the past few months, that might be a bad idea to go after them as well.  I just asked the lawyers if it was worth it or not, by what I tell them next they should let me know.  After all, this is what they specialize in they would know the up and downs of this.

Hopefully in time I shall get over and be able to move on with my life and get another job.  Wish me luck!

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