Things Seem To Be Looking Up….

Published August 24, 2008 by sadistickitten

God, it feels like forever since I last wrote an update sorry about that but life gets in the way doesn't it?!  Don't be amazed if this is rather long because there's a lot going on/has gone on that others might not know.

First, I wanted to say thanks to everyone for not deleting from your list due to me not commenting till just recently if you know me off of here (meaning your my penpal or you're on myspace/facebook with me) you'd know that a TON of shit has been going down lately with me which prevented me from commenting much.  If you think that I haven't read your entries, you're wrong.  I just didn't have the time to comment at the time.  I did however re read the entries that I missed since the last time that I got around to doing it, as well as comment on entries.  If I didn't comment please do not  think that I didn't read them because I did.  I just didn't comment because they were too old to say something because it would have been irreliavent to do so.

Secondly, I wanted to say that I have gotten a lot of letters in the mail recently (not complaining just letting you know) so I hadn't been able to comment because I wanted to get those out asap.  To me, (no offense to you guys) the letters are a bit more important than entries.  That's not to say that I don't appreciate you all, it's just they pay for stamps and stuff so it only makes sense to write to them first about things.  I have three two letters left (finally, I'll get into why I had so many in a little while just be patient be with me) and they are: marie, didi, and Linda to write to.  I shall work on those and get those out asap (marie's yours is next).  

Thirdly, I have been trying to enter contests as much as I can so I can free stuff because we are in need $ and getting these free things (possible free things) would REALLY help out with our situation so I don't have to buy these things when the times comes around.  Plus, I also have been depressed about our $ situation (hell, what person isn't right now?) as well as stressed over everything that's been going on (once again I'll get into that soon).  So I haven't felt like being around much because I just didn't want to deal with life at all (after this one, I'm stopping with the counting so you don't get annoyed).

Alright, let's get down to business…..

Since the last time you've read an entry from me (a real update which I noticed was at least a month ago HOLY SHIT), there was a lot of stuff not going on.  Well since then, my grandmother went into the hospital and she was there for a few days or so due to a UTI going through her whole system (if that isn't a reason to drink cranberry juice regularly I don't know what is) she went into the hospital.  Her doc actually told her it was nothing at all and she was fine (nice guy huh?).  She didn't listen to him and went in anyways.  Good thing that she did because it could have killed her!!  Go grammy for being smart!!!

We didn't see her while she was in the hospital but I got daily/hourly reports about what was going on from my mom.  She would call every day saying something new about where she was, what had happened to her etc.  and the instructions that I should take to talk to her, call her or even if I went to see her.  I hate going to hospitals (yes I know, I worked in one for over a year and I hate them?  Figure that one out) so I decided to wait till she got home (that & we had a lot going on at the time, I don't care to get into right now but let's just say it was stressful).  

Saw her on Monday and we talked about a bunch of things (if you read the entry about my grandmother you'd know this & I won't get into it again so refer that entry, it's a bit below this one).  One thing that I will say is this, she has seen ALL my life how my sis treats me.  How she's noticed that Malinda (my sis in case you didn't know that) has always treated me like I was nothing to her and always like shit.  She hated how Malinda treated me at her bridal shower (if you know ANYTHING about me, you know that I'm a tomboy and I hate showers.  So going to this was like hell for me or worse).  She said if she was me she would've gotten up and left.  I have forgotten all the past (well not all of it but a bunch of it) and I don't remember exactly what happened but I do remember feeling like shit and crying to my dad to pick me up but he wouldn't telling me “this is for your sis, stick it out” great thanks dad!

She also thinks (good it's not just me) that there is something mentally wrong with Elizabeth (my niece) and that she will have a lot of problems growing up because she is clearly a “special” child (and I don't mean it like you say she's a special girl, I mean it like mentally incapable type of thing) and that my grandmother has noticed certain things.  I thought awhile back that Elizabeth was having issues with figuring out basic things like playing with toys.  She looks different too, if you know what I mean.  But maybe we're just seeing something that's not there.  Poor girl if so, I feel bad for her.  Malinda never checked out if her child would be retarded or something with that test because she was worried it would hurt the baby (it never has when others have taken it, isn't it worth finding out?  Ok that's just MY opinion).  

So the visit was nice, Tony got her lunch and paid for it.  πŸ˜€ awe, that's so sweet of him and she was willing to pay him back too.  I got to talk to her one on one about various subjects so that was really nice, including this one: 

Grammy gave me THE best advice in the world “if being around her make you miserable and if she's going to treat you like crap then you have to what is right for YOU!  Don't be around her.  So what if your parents say that they want you to talk to her, they need to understand that you need to do what makes YOU happy not what makes THEM happy.  You know she is not going to change.  Jennifer, do what's right for you and you're not missing out on anything.  Why be apart of such things when you are truly miserable and unhappy to be there in the first place.”  Thank you grammy, thank you!  I swear out of everyone in my whole fuckin' family, that woman is the ONLY person that understands me.  Everyone else thinks that I am crazy for not wanting kids and that I don't “fit the norms” and that I see my sis as she is, the devil in disguise.  Which is true, whenever I see my sis I just cringe having to think about what she'll say or the comment that she'll make that will just make me want to kill her.  She only makes such comments so she can look better (she's like the bullies at school, she is SO perfect to be an Oakmont alumni she's totally like those bitches*) and make me look bad.  I swear she's trying to make it so Tony breaks up with me by the comments that she makes. As if that'll happen and besides, since when does someone break up with someone over stupid comments?  (plus he knows my sis' full of shit anyhoo).

A little while after we saw my grandmother, there was drama with my mom (she wanted to tell me about a friend of the family is ill and in a home 😦 awe, that's so sad…I don't care to get into it I'll just end up crying again….but grammy already told me that) and she kept being a bitch leaving these really annoying and bitchy voice mail messages (yes because we HAVE to pick up just because you call wtf no sorry, we have lives, we're busy etc).  Tony ended up talking to her to find out what was up.

In the meanwhile, I got sick!  It happened at like the wee hours of the morning where I felt “something's wrong with me” and that's when I had to get up to find out what's up.  And that's where I realized that I was sick.  I mean R E A L L Y badly sick, we are talking so sick that I could barely walk to the couch or the bed or even to the computer desk without going to the bathroom or having to go back to the bathroom.  The minute that I sat down, I was right back up again and I just wanted it to end. I will NOT say what happened or what not but I believe (not so sure of it) it was food posioning.  Tony had cooked us breakfast a few days ago and made bacon, we got a new brand and stuff…well I think that he didn't cook it all the way and I ate a lot it before I decided to say no because it didn't taste right.  Well that's what I believe happened but I'm not sure.  I thought for awhile that I was going to die it was soo bad!  It has been a few days since I've recovered and I got to say, it's nice to be able to eat again without any issues.  Took a few days to get over it and to get my stomach “back on track” again with food.  I would never wish what happened to me on ANYONE!  And Tony had a bit of the sickness as well too, so I believe that's what happened with the food.  That's all I can figure out at least.

Since I was sick, I got behind on my letters because the last thing that I could focus on was letters after having been through what I had been through I just needed some time to myself and rest.  That's what I have been doing the past few days to get over it and get the needed the rest that I didn't get while I was sick.  That's another reason I haven't been around much at all till today.  Today's one of the first days that I really felt like myself again and where I didn't feel so tired that I thought that I was going to fall asleep while writing letters.

Haven't read much of my book “wicked” I know it's so bad because I was planning (who plans to get sick, not like I wanted this either) to finish it by the end of this month but I'm not so sure that will happen since after all it's this week 😦 well maybe if I focus hard enough on it and not play my sims so much.

Since I've been feeling like meh lately, I've been playing my new expansion pak for the sims (not new really but new to me) Sims 2 university pak.  I got it because I got a few ecertificates for Amazon from my surveys *sweet* and in the end, I only paid like 7 bucks (typical for my sims paks actually).  I hadn't wanted it till now but

 was talking about expansion paks and I thought hmmm I need something new for my game and picked it up.  Thanks for the advice, it's cool!!! πŸ˜€  I'm such a dork, I know.

On Friday, went to Long Horn for the first time ever.  My dad had recommended this place awhile back to me telling me that he had been there with a bunch of the buddies from work (not sure whom these “buddies” are because he never says their names) and the food was good and they give you great bread (like they do at Williams) there.  The food was great, the service was EVEN better and the atmosphere was perfect until…..yup you guessed it…..

A baby was there SCREAMING AND CRYING the rest of the time that we were there.  It was so hard to ignore because I swear it just wanted me to know “hey you, I'm here.  I know how much you just LOVE it when there's a baby.” Who does that?  This place is not what you'd call cheap or a family resturant.  Meaning it's not close to being reasonably priced (Tony and I even shared since the meals were so expensive but good because there was FAR too much for one person to eat).  I can't understand stand how a parent can just let their child scream & cry and NOT take care of it.  Seriously, do they have NO respect for anyone else?!  I mean I saw women with kids children (older kids yes but still children) looking back at the place where the screaming was coming from and giving them evil looks.  So no it's NOT just me that gets annoyed with that stuff.  I think it's not the kids that I hate, someone in CF said that it's the parents that I don't like.  I think they're right, I don't hate kids I don't like their parents very much.  Kids are just the produce of the parents upbrining.  So yah, if it was my kid I'd take it to the bathroom to find out what's up or just not go there!  Be respectful with your kids, if they're crying PLEASE take them out.  Sorry it's just a pet peeve of mine.

Got some good news…..

Remember how I was talking about hoping to qualify for extended unemployment?  Well I got approved the other day ^_^ YAY sweet!!!  I'm soo thrilled that I could scream!  That will SOO help out to pay bills etc. wOOt!  Grammy was like “but you haven't worked” but you know how the gov't is with that sort of thing, they find a way to screw you so anyways, good news!!!  

Things with Tony's site is doing well too so hopefully he'll be getting the funding for that soon too!!  πŸ˜€ Things are slowly progressing with the guy that he's “going to invest” it's just taking forever and I'm a bit skeptic (if you knew all that we've gone through with this guy you'd be the same way) about the whole thing but hopefully I'm wrong.

I've also been product testing everything from beauty items (can't say ANYTHING about what I was product testing, not even know I heard because I could get into a lot of trouble I signed something agreeing to not saying what I am using/doing, sorry guys nor can I tell you where I test from or I could be taken from their sites) to clothing.  It's really cool I must say, even Tony did a product test and got some extra $ that way too!!!  I also got something in the mail saying thanks for being a member, it was awesome!!!!   I can't wait to see what'll be in the mail tomorrow.

Been working out more intensely and I guess yesterday I worked out TOO intense because I am now injured 😦 ops, it's mainly my butt, thighs, lower back plus shoulders due to pushing myself a little too hard or making it more challanging on myself.  Oh well, at least I'm trying to get into better shape.  And one day, I will look in the mirror and not be disgusted (ok I've actually never been happy about my weight, even when I was less than 100lbs I still hated my body so yah I need to change that image).  Not that I'm really fat, just don't like what I see.  Tony's noticed that I've lost weight which is true I have but I still want to lose some more (I've always had big thighs, runs in my family so I'd like to get rid of those).  I like to push myself harder because that proves that I am still alive and I'm confident that one day I shall look into a mirror and not hate what I see.  At least now, I don't hate my face (ok not all the time but that's normal because some days I have my ugly days) as much as I used to.  Slowly getting there and I'm proud of myself because my clothes are getting smaller so it's working, it's definately working.  Go me! 

Well it's almost midnight and Tony wants to get to bed soon and I want to play a bit of the sims before we head off to bed.  Take care all.



*note: not all Oakmont girls are bitches, just the majority are.  I was from there and I'm not*

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