I've lost a sister, I truly have

Published January 2, 2008 by sadistickitten

 Ok so you all know how I've been putting off writing this entry due to how hard it is thinking plus writing about it well here it is.  Bare with me as it might come out a bit confusing and weird but I'm just putting how I remember it, it's been a few days so it might come out wrong and all.  

After a day of my parents not getting a hold of me then also of my parents changing the day from Saturday because of the party for my uncle's surprise birthday was that day & they needed to get things done before they went later on in the night.  On Sunday, we made plans to get together after they went & celebrated christmas with my aunt & uncle.  

My dad actually asked the night before, “so what is this talk all about” and I had to say something without coming out & saying “it's about your lowsy daughter” so I said that it was about what happened christmas but not having to do with them.  Sounded like he totally knew what I was talking about because in his voice is showed.

I hadn't been able to sleep at night without thinking about all the horrible things that my sister's done to me & how she also did these wonderful things too.  And on Sunday, I talked to them thanking them for all the thought that they put into their gifts that they got me & Tony plus how they really went out of their way this year (and my dad was out of work for 3 months without much pay or even any pay because of his nose surgery that he had to have a few months ago) so if anyone should complain about not being to afford things then it's my parents NOT my sister & them.

Anyhoo, after saying that made my dad really nervous & he was like “what are you leaving already” and we were like no we're not yet but in a few years hopefully.  Then I went into how when we went over my sis' house that I felt like I was in the way, that I wasn't wanted, how they treated us like garbage & the ones that were showing ANY signs of caring was the aunts (those women rock, they are soo very sweet) & that's not even their house.

Then I went into why we were only their for a short time because I never feel comfortable there unless they're there with us (my parents just left a bit before we showed up too).  I of course next told them about what my sister gave me for my birthday & how those were clearly used as well.  Explain how when she handed me over the earrings she had a shit eating grin on her face and then I showed them the earrings (which I plan on keeping just in case I need to show her years later or just remind from time to time why we are moving away) and I started crying.  I mean BALLING, it was rather odd too because I wasn't expecting to do that either.  My dad hugged me and adventually I stopped.

They looked at the earrings & they noticed that those are indeed used!  They did see the rust as well as wear/worn out parts on the posts and my mom as well as dad was disgusted with it.  They said that I shouldn't have to deal with this especially on a holy & special day like christmas.  But what I wasn't expecting was this….

They didn't say “come on, it's your sister & she's family” they said “we know” and we feel the same way too.  My mom actually looked like she was going to cry too.  They're just as sick of my sister & them as we are.  They hate how my sister is acting plus treating people all because she's acting like her mother in law (which is true Pauline is such a witch because she's the worst type of person–she's that fake happy *rolls eyes* see why I don't have many offline friends?) and she's getting more like Jason every day.

My parents were saying that she's not a lost cause and they still keep hope and all that bs but I don't.  I can't any longer & I explained that I won't be getting together with Malinda EVER again & I won't EVER step in her house again.  My dad said that if he was there on christmas morning, he would've thrown a fit to see those earrings.  She's lucky that my parents weren't there because they would've really let out their anger for my sister that day.  

They had left when they did christmas day because they were sick of dealing with people being asses to them & pricks.  My parents are in a hard boat though, if they want to see Elizabeth…they HAVE to be nice to my sister & treat her well.  If they don't, they fear that Malinda will take away her daughter & not let them see her.  Well it's funny because I don't see it that way at all.  My mom is the only one that can babysit Elizabeth while (if my sister ever finds a job) working and if they don't want her to be spoiled (they'd never do that because they want THINGS) by my parents then they have to treat my parents nicely.  So I think the ball is my parents hands but you try telling them that whatever, it's not me.

My parents also think that my sister's always been this innocent little girl & Jason's changed her from this sweet girl that she was.  They clearly don't know her.  She's always been this wicked bitch to me as well as others & was never sweet nor innocent, that's me not her.  She's the opposite of me in so many ways so no she never was sweet.  Maybe that's what my parents saw her to be but she never was this sweet person at all.  But she did have her good times just like others.  I HAD thought that her & I would adventually get along, that one day we'd be close again.  That won't happen ever again, I see that now it's hard to take but I guess it's better than not knowing then wasting my life waiting for her to be better to me.

That ship has sailed now for me.  I can't hope, wish, or wonder if we'll ever be the very best sissters that we once were Jason came along & ruined that in her.  The good that I once saw, is finally gone.  It's like Scrooge, she's the scrooge in this thing she's the one that needs to change but in the end, she doesn't because she doesn't care.  Plus, I never like to think of anyone as a lost cause till now.  You know how they say people change you?  Well he changed her for the bad and I don't recognize the sister I once had.  It's rather sad but I'm glad that I don't have to deal with her anymore.

It's ok because the “bitch inside me” (thanks Marie for that saying I LOVE it) is taking over.  I won't let this happen to me again, I won't let her take advantage of my goodness then use it to give me shit.  This goes FAR beyond just giving someone crap, hell this goes far beyond decenty.  If it wasn't for Elizabeth, my parents would want NOTHING to do with my sister, they'd move away and no questions asked.  When I told them that when we plan on moving, we're not giving them our address nor phone number they agreed that it's the right thing to do.  Staying away my sister is the best for me.  And that if my sister wants to contact me later on, I'll decide if I want to talk to her when we've moved away.

And we told them that we're only exchanging with them from now on, they agreed that was for the best as well.  Tony will tell my sister & them that we will only be exchanging with my parents (grammy included but that's none of her business) from now on.  We don't have to say why either.  I do plan on sending a card to Elizabeth with money in it (which I'm sure her parents will use to buy something for themselves with it because they're assholes & pieces of shit) after the party next Saturday.  I will NEVER step foot in their house nor will they step foot in ours no matter what!  I don't care if they need to pee, let them fuckin' pee on the ground I don't give a shit.  I don't care about her anymore, sister means NOTHING to me anymore.  She's not worth my time or energy to worry about anymore.  

Basically to sum up, my parents feel the same way & they don't think that the whole Aliskevicz family (including pauline's side) are christian/catholic at all.  They don't act that way at all.  This has been long coming with my sister & them but I guess I didn't expect her to pull this stunt.  It would've been better if she just didn't buy me anything or just gave us money.  Money is far better than giving used items but clearly she wanted to give those to show me how much she hates me and telling me wasn't good enough.

Whatever the reason(s) are that she hates me is beyond me.  I could guess in my head but I won't bother because she's not worth my time.  I am doing much better every day, the less I have see her ugly face I am doing better but in the end, I'll be stronger than she will be because I don't have hate in my heart like she does.  I so want to punch my sister in the face HARD but I won't do that.  

Well that's about all I want to talk about her for a day.  I need to write my letters now that Tony's gone to his poker game, I've got a lot to write.  I'll update about new year's day & what's happened since then tomorrow ok?  Cool, take care all.  Oh and I'll read/comment on blogs when I can but right now I need to write letters. 

by me


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